what's next is mother's day. so to all my friends and family who are mothers, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!!!! Traditonally, or maybe not traditionally, but historically, for me, mother's day is bittersweet.
I don't have my mom, and haven't for a long, long time, and while I did have a step mother for a while, that is a road filled with potholes for both of us. I LOVE my children to death, (you can see the little blurb about hunting them down on my facebook page) but mother's day for me, usually lost something when you don't have your own mom to honor. I can go to the cemetary, and often have...I usually plant crocus and daffodil bulbs because those were her favorite flowers to see after a long winter. It meant spring was coming, and good weather, and sunnier moods. I didn't understand that when I was a kid, I mean, I was 12 when she passed, but looking back from this perspective, and YEARS of therapy, she may have had seasonal affective disorder. Heaven knows she had a bunch of other issues. And, on a glorious day such as we are having here in MA today, this makes me think about her in an almost happy way, with much of the sadness and bad stuff pushed under. I miss her, and will always wonder if we would have been friends. I know she loved me, but I will always feel that I have missed out on her brilliance, and her humor, and possibly her friendship.
Right now, however, I want to say that I have such wonderful kids; they are my kids, my lifelines, my phone-a-friends, my aggravations, and my salvations on a day to day basis...They are brilliant, and funny, and oftentimes my friends, not just my children. So I am going to try to stop wishing that MY mom were still here, and be grateful that I am here to enjoy my kids. I cannot imagine my life without any of them, and hope one day that they all have children that make them feel the same. And, if you can't tell, I am really REALLY proud of them. Erin, Michael and Meghan - I LOVE YOU.
so, what's next is tomorrow: MOTHER'S DAY - I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
