type 2 diabetes

that's what's next. i have been officially diagnosed. not at all impressed. have spent the past two weeks on a roller coaster of emotions... haven't done denial, but definitely felt sad, and angry. i have been cranky and bitchy. it is a time consuming, lousy disease that i have to spend waaaay too much time thinking about. maybe this will get easier, but for the moment, not so much.

will be back when i can figure out how to fit this catastrophe into my crazy life. i know it's because i have not taken care of myself, but still, my papa was right, it's hell to get old. be back with further developements as they occur, or as i get a better handle on all of this.

no more lemonade

regarding this type 2 diabetes thing;  i was discussing the "situation" with someone- who was also recently diagnosed with type 2- friday afternoon and this person observed that trying to manage this disease is like another full time job. and he is correct. its not enough that i am a mom, even though my kids are all in their 20s, i still love, worry and care about them... i am a wife... i have 2 adorable dogs... i have a house... i work full time... and now i need to freaking pay attention to whatever i want to put into my mouth. i am counting carbs, looking at food labels to discover how many carbs are in something, along with how much protein. i am constantly worrying about what my blood sugar levels are- at least they are finally out of the 400+ range- remembering to take pills, some in the middle of the night, some at breakfast, some at supper.

i TRY to keep a positive attitude, because negativity and being the victim gets old...and no one wants to hang around with a "negative nancy" - so i have always liked the saying "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade" and in reality, pink lemonade always makes me happy- but now, since i don't use artificial sweeteners, i am stuck on not being able to even make lemonade.  i am sure i'll figure something out, but for now, i am just sad that such drastic changes need to take place. but really, this blog does actually deserve a "WHAT'S NEXT" designation. 

time is flying by....how could this have been untouched for so long!

i missed the quilt show. personal life gets in the way of having fun. that's the headline. BUT i did get a chance to see some of my girlfriends this past friday night at friday night frenzy. which is not so frenzy-ish but more like a low key wonderfully sweet way to get together with my friends from new hampshire and maine.

i have not been quilting. i have not been sewing. i have not even been mending if i can help it. but i cut out a pattern for new Christmas stockings. hopefully, on friday afternoon i can work on them a little bit. we'll see. it's actually something to be excited about for the first time in a while. maybe i can get the first one done and post a photo. THAT would be an accomplishment. to my girls that i missed at nashua, i wish it could have been different, but hopefully next year, i can come for more time than even just an afternoon. and well, we'll see what's next.

mother's day

what's next is mother's day. so to all my friends and family who are mothers, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!!!! Traditonally, or maybe not traditionally, but historically, for me, mother's day is bittersweet.


I don't have my mom, and haven't for a long, long time, and while I did have a step mother for a while, that is a road filled with potholes for both of us. I LOVE my children to death, (you can see the little blurb about hunting them down on my facebook page) but mother's day for me, usually lost something when you don't have your own mom to honor. I can go to the cemetary, and often have...I usually plant crocus and daffodil bulbs because those were her favorite flowers to see after a long winter. It meant spring was coming, and good weather, and sunnier moods. I didn't understand that when I was a kid, I mean, I was 12 when she passed, but looking back from this perspective, and YEARS of therapy, she may have had seasonal affective disorder. Heaven knows she had a bunch of other issues. And, on a glorious day such as we are having here in MA today, this makes me think about her in an almost happy way, with much of the sadness and bad stuff pushed under. I miss her, and will always wonder if we would have been friends. I know she loved me, but I will always feel that I have missed out on her brilliance, and her humor, and possibly her friendship.



Right now, however, I want to say that I have such wonderful kids; they are my kids, my lifelines, my phone-a-friends, my aggravations, and my salvations on a day to day basis...They are brilliant, and funny, and oftentimes my friends, not just my children. So I am going to try to stop wishing that MY mom were still here, and be grateful that I am here to enjoy my kids. I cannot imagine my life without any of them, and hope one day that they all have children that make them feel the same. And, if you can't tell, I am really REALLY proud of them. Erin, Michael and Meghan - I LOVE YOU.





so, what's next is tomorrow: MOTHER'S DAY - I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

modern technology

ain't it wonderful??? i seriously love the fact that it has helped me connect with long lost cousins, friends and keeps me in touch with new friends and family members... i don't like that i give up a measure of privacy because of it, but that is the price i pay. i am not good with all the things computers, digital cameras, cell phones, i pads, i pods, i phones. ereaders can do, but it doesn't mean i don't enjoy them. i do. maybe someday i'll actually figure out how to down load my own pictures onto face book. but for now, it's my poor kids that are stuck helping me out... and for that, i hope they know how grateful i am. well, i would love to talk about how messed up the whole federal budget thing is, but i can't go there. and in the event of government shut down, the place i work will still be open... so while there is no forced time off, at least i know i'll still be able to claim my paycheck. i'd rather work and be paid than forced to stay home - even if all those furloughed folks end up with back pay... which may or may not happen. these are the things that have been on my mind this week... wishing i could update pictures, happy to reacquaint with friends and family, and worrying about work. we'll just have to see what's next.

looks like winter is just about done!!!

i did a lot of complaining about snow this year. and we did have a lot. but we have had a couple of GLORIOUS spring like days so far, and that goes a long way to getting over the yucky weather. this winter, i actually did not have any mishaps on ice, which was really nice for a change, and i can honestly say that is one for the record books... i usually slip and fall at least once, every winter!

so, now i am just loving some fresh air and daylight savings time. we'll see what's next really soon. i think a remodel on the bathroom may be in store....

in the course of the past week

i have commented to myself that i "need to blog" about that. of course, i can't remember any of it when i actually get home from work and try to sit at the 'puter. and then i think, oh, maybe i shouldn't because it would be inappropriate considering where i work - i work for the federal government, and there are social networking restrictions in place. and, normally i understand that and it's fine. i mean, one does want to be careful about what one writes about her job, her co-workers, sometimes even one's spouse. but there is a real temptation to "let it all hang out" on a blog just because one can.
i love my new job. recently a position opened up in our office, and i applied for it, and got it. and i am so thrilled that i did. it isn't a promotion, just a lateral move, but i don't care. it's interesting, and different and satisfies my curiousity.

at any rate, i think, the next time i have a flash to blog about something... i'll write it down for WHAT'S NEXT........

mid winter meanderings

well. i looked forward all snowy week to friday and sleep. it is now almost one a.m. and i WAS asleep. asleep before 9 i might add. woke up to go to the bathroom, and now... awake. lovely. LOVELY. i'll end up headachy, and cranky probably. and i have a lot to do tomorrow. mountains of laundry to fold, and floors to wash; after all it is the end of january and there are MOUNTAINS of snow every where and sand and salt that make its way into my house. yuck. the refridgerator is acting up and sears messed up the appointment yesterday and now won't be here till thursday. the snowblower has been on the blink since last year and that's being picked up tomorrow. and, neither are old- fridge is 1 1/2, snowblower is 2...
on the other hand, i am still loving my new job- i am so fortunate for that. my kids are all healthy-grateful for that. have a roof over my head, cute puppies to love, a husband to be irritated with... or is it "at"? i reconnected with 2 friends on facebook. so wonderful!!! i am so happy and appreciative of all the friends and family that have found me, and that i have found also. what an age we live in...
i think i'll go make a cup of cocoa, and open up the ereader, maybe fall back to sleep sooner, rather than later. i might be back tomorrow - i've had lots on my mind, and not that i think it's all earth shattering, my confidante and counselor is taking a break from work and i may just use this to get stuff out of my system.... we'll what's next... tomorrow.