Christening gown for my niece's baby

hmmm. sunday night and i am here

it's sunday night and it's late. wanted to be on here earlier. had a busy weekend, and a lot on my mind.  watched a disturbing documentary... "one nation under dog".  poor dogs. makes me appreciate my babies more than ever. even when especially when chewie will just walk by and give me a lick. it's like his way of saying i love you. and i love that. even if it's gross. and gizmo, he's my boy in all his jittery glory!

i weeded the garden... still have that cosmic question of why oh why does the grass grow with total abandon in my flower garden and not in my lawn? WHY. but i didn't do it all, there's other weekends to come, and hopefully less hot, and less humid. meghan, God bless her, helped me. what a good sport she is.  took her for a manicure today. she deserves it for helping me pull weeds! what i need now though is a good swedish massage- my back is KILLING me!

also was thinking about depression, too. having suffered through it for years, even with medication, makes me wonder what gene or chromosome makes it come and go, or even just come and stay. and why some lucky women don't get post partum depression and some of us do. and why it seems to get worse with each child... and then can linger and linger. i have been off anti depressants for a while now, but that doesn't mean i don't fight it. and it doesn't mean it's any less real. i think i needed it (medication) for a long time, and pray i don't need it again. i used to say i could have/should have been the face of prozac. i never had the worst of the side effects that people complained of, or "allegedly" died from, from committing suicide. i did gain weight on it, but it was a small price to pay for keeping me from being an absolute nutcase. and there are some who would say i was anyway. but i truly believe i would have been waaaay worse. or not here. that's a blog for another day, though. it's enough that i've made it this far.

and now off to bed... good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite, as my mom used to say when she tucked us in.

i have been working on knitting projects. i LOVE knitting, i have only been knitting since march of this year, but i love to learn this crafty, useful past time.  i have made slippers and scarfs, a little Christmas tree motif washcloth, infant socks, a baby blanket, and a couple of baby hats. i'd like to share some of those here.. the baby socks are with plymouth yarn, and a plymouth pattern, jeannee.  the baby blanket is also plymouth yarn, and i think the pattern is from a book of afghans, something along the lines of 12 hour afghans... can't remember exactly, and my apologies to the pattern maker and the publishing company. when i get the correct name, i'll post it.  the little ruffly hat pattern is from bernat yarns, but it was made with plymouth yarn, same as the socks.  and the little blue hat is also a plymouth yarn and the pattern is bev's seed stitch cap for newborns.

i don't know why these keep rotating, when i preview them, they are fine, put them in here, and all rotated. drives me NUTS.  anyway, pretty soon i will start on a christening gown for a niece. once that is underway, i'll post photos of that, too...  but for now, happy knitting, quilting, cooking, or sewing!!!

to the right, is a Christmas project- for a change, i am starting early...
next, is meghan's scarf; halfway done!!!  i posted two, because i was not sure that the beautiful kelly green color was coming through.

erin's scarf is about a 1/4 done. it is chunkier yarn, using larger needles- but i think will keep her really warm on walks with charlie in the cold winter!

again, meghan's scarf, 1/2 way done

and this is my practice strip for new stitches. the first little section was when i began the purl stitch about a week ago... love the look of stockinette stitch, so happy that i am finally getting the hang of it!!!! i do rows of regular garter stitch in between practicing new things that way i can keep track of where my mistakes are                                    

mistakes... mistakes

today is palm sunday. its got me thinking a little bit. i believe in God, and Jesus. i am lapsed from the catholic faith, and while there are those who would disagree, i don't believe that makes me an awful person... BUT....

i know i am only human. i make mistakes, i speak out of turn or say incorrect things (aka putting my foot in my mouth), i am terrible with correspondence (i.e. returning letters, sending birthday cards and thank  you notes... sometimes even phone calls-which are the easiest thing to do), my kids think i am harsh at times, and that i give back handed compliments (which is NOT my intent, and i LOVE THEM to death).  i mess up with food, eat things i know i shouldn't, which sends my blood sugar through the roof. i try to be civil to the people i can't stand (don't truly hate anyone any more, that's really too strong. and at my age i hope no one truly hates me either), or just try to avoid contact with them.  thank goodness every day is a new day. and some days there are no mistakes, some days- LOTS.  and for that, i am sorry, especially to anyone i may have unintentionally hurt, one way or another. i hope everyone can forgive me. i apologize from the bottom of my heart.

so, getting that out of the way, i have decided that i have to rip out the beginnings of my quilt that i posted a while back. yeah, the beautiful red and black that one is turned sideways in the picture that i couldn't make make rotate.  i fully intended to leave all the seams the way they were, but i have decided that that is a waste, and while ripping out seams is a HUGE waste of time, the quilt will be better for it in the long run. it's just gonna take a while. so there won't be any pictures of that for a while.  in the meantime, i will try to get photos on here of my 3 knitting projects that i have going on. 

knitting is going well. i find it challenging, learning a new craft. it's great on the train, except when the rude chick sitting next to me keeps BUMPING ME and invading my space. (ok breathe, she was young, maybe didn't ride the commuter rail alot)... here again, i am chock full of mistakes. not very thrilled about that, but i have only been knitting for 5 weeks, and still learning, so i will cut myself some slack for that. edwina is a wonderful instructor, very very patient, and kind.  and you tube is a great asset for when i get home and she is not with me!!!

well, gonna get back to my day, and try to see what mistakes i can avoid.  i hope everyone has a blessed, mistake free palm sunday!!

 this was our winter last year...

















it is so much nicer this  year!!!

today's lesson

ok, so i had my first knitting class today. it's the little green thing above my typing. it went well, and i have, well almost have - the hang of holding the yarn, the needles and actually getting through a row. it's just the "knit" stitch for now, i am attempting a scarf. i have no doubt i will get it done, but of course, once i got home, and away from the instructor, somehow i managed to add another stitch to the row. so instead of 30 stitches, i had 31.  instead of leaving it, i tried to fix it. BIG mistake. much worse than adding a stitch. i had watched my very kind instructor, pull out a couple of rows while she was teaching me. i had hoped i could do the same, and with successful results, but that was not to be. so i kind of just muddled along, and kept going to keep the practice of holding the needles and yarn. but it became VERY clear, it wasn't looking too pretty, so i stopped.  i will try to get to her shop on wednesday evening, but i am not holding much hope that she'll be open by the time i get home from work. 
on a brighter note, i have two rows together from my mystery quilt. it's slow going because my seams are all off because i did not have an exact 1/4" seam.  this is not my couple of months for successful quilting, but i continue because i enjoy it. and i think this quilt, will still be very pretty, just a tad smaller than the pattern called for. i tried and tried to rotate it so that it would be in the proper direction, but it looks like that's not happening. if you tilt your head to the left, then you would see the top row, and the second row...
and meghan has started a quilt...  i'll get a picture of that for the next time... potentially next weekend.

but, for now, what's next is stopping the crafty stuff for the night, and settling down with game of thrones by george rr martin. i am really enjoying that, it's as good as the television series.  so good night and i hope your stitches are even,  your needles slide well, your seams are accurate,and your sewing machine hums along!

a picture of the swan boats in the beautiful boston public garden

ok... that was wrong.

http://www.anniek-whatsnext.blogspot.com/

i think this one is correct.

ohmygoodness...
got answers on how to get back into this one... for two other recent posts, please see the other blog...

http:// http://www.anniek-whatsnext.blogger.com/

and now that i know how to get back into this one, YAY...

very confusing.

type 2 diabetes

that's what's next. i have been officially diagnosed. not at all impressed. have spent the past two weeks on a roller coaster of emotions... haven't done denial, but definitely felt sad, and angry. i have been cranky and bitchy. it is a time consuming, lousy disease that i have to spend waaaay too much time thinking about. maybe this will get easier, but for the moment, not so much.

will be back when i can figure out how to fit this catastrophe into my crazy life. i know it's because i have not taken care of myself, but still, my papa was right, it's hell to get old. be back with further developements as they occur, or as i get a better handle on all of this.

no more lemonade

regarding this type 2 diabetes thing;  i was discussing the "situation" with someone- who was also recently diagnosed with type 2- friday afternoon and this person observed that trying to manage this disease is like another full time job. and he is correct. its not enough that i am a mom, even though my kids are all in their 20s, i still love, worry and care about them... i am a wife... i have 2 adorable dogs... i have a house... i work full time... and now i need to freaking pay attention to whatever i want to put into my mouth. i am counting carbs, looking at food labels to discover how many carbs are in something, along with how much protein. i am constantly worrying about what my blood sugar levels are- at least they are finally out of the 400+ range- remembering to take pills, some in the middle of the night, some at breakfast, some at supper.

i TRY to keep a positive attitude, because negativity and being the victim gets old...and no one wants to hang around with a "negative nancy" - so i have always liked the saying "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade" and in reality, pink lemonade always makes me happy- but now, since i don't use artificial sweeteners, i am stuck on not being able to even make lemonade.  i am sure i'll figure something out, but for now, i am just sad that such drastic changes need to take place. but really, this blog does actually deserve a "WHAT'S NEXT" designation. 

time is flying by....how could this have been untouched for so long!

i missed the quilt show. personal life gets in the way of having fun. that's the headline. BUT i did get a chance to see some of my girlfriends this past friday night at friday night frenzy. which is not so frenzy-ish but more like a low key wonderfully sweet way to get together with my friends from new hampshire and maine.

i have not been quilting. i have not been sewing. i have not even been mending if i can help it. but i cut out a pattern for new Christmas stockings. hopefully, on friday afternoon i can work on them a little bit. we'll see. it's actually something to be excited about for the first time in a while. maybe i can get the first one done and post a photo. THAT would be an accomplishment. to my girls that i missed at nashua, i wish it could have been different, but hopefully next year, i can come for more time than even just an afternoon. and well, we'll see what's next.

mother's day

what's next is mother's day. so to all my friends and family who are mothers, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!!!! Traditonally, or maybe not traditionally, but historically, for me, mother's day is bittersweet.


I don't have my mom, and haven't for a long, long time, and while I did have a step mother for a while, that is a road filled with potholes for both of us. I LOVE my children to death, (you can see the little blurb about hunting them down on my facebook page) but mother's day for me, usually lost something when you don't have your own mom to honor. I can go to the cemetary, and often have...I usually plant crocus and daffodil bulbs because those were her favorite flowers to see after a long winter. It meant spring was coming, and good weather, and sunnier moods. I didn't understand that when I was a kid, I mean, I was 12 when she passed, but looking back from this perspective, and YEARS of therapy, she may have had seasonal affective disorder. Heaven knows she had a bunch of other issues. And, on a glorious day such as we are having here in MA today, this makes me think about her in an almost happy way, with much of the sadness and bad stuff pushed under. I miss her, and will always wonder if we would have been friends. I know she loved me, but I will always feel that I have missed out on her brilliance, and her humor, and possibly her friendship.



Right now, however, I want to say that I have such wonderful kids; they are my kids, my lifelines, my phone-a-friends, my aggravations, and my salvations on a day to day basis...They are brilliant, and funny, and oftentimes my friends, not just my children. So I am going to try to stop wishing that MY mom were still here, and be grateful that I am here to enjoy my kids. I cannot imagine my life without any of them, and hope one day that they all have children that make them feel the same. And, if you can't tell, I am really REALLY proud of them. Erin, Michael and Meghan - I LOVE YOU.





so, what's next is tomorrow: MOTHER'S DAY - I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

modern technology

ain't it wonderful??? i seriously love the fact that it has helped me connect with long lost cousins, friends and keeps me in touch with new friends and family members... i don't like that i give up a measure of privacy because of it, but that is the price i pay. i am not good with all the things computers, digital cameras, cell phones, i pads, i pods, i phones. ereaders can do, but it doesn't mean i don't enjoy them. i do. maybe someday i'll actually figure out how to down load my own pictures onto face book. but for now, it's my poor kids that are stuck helping me out... and for that, i hope they know how grateful i am. well, i would love to talk about how messed up the whole federal budget thing is, but i can't go there. and in the event of government shut down, the place i work will still be open... so while there is no forced time off, at least i know i'll still be able to claim my paycheck. i'd rather work and be paid than forced to stay home - even if all those furloughed folks end up with back pay... which may or may not happen. these are the things that have been on my mind this week... wishing i could update pictures, happy to reacquaint with friends and family, and worrying about work. we'll just have to see what's next.

looks like winter is just about done!!!

i did a lot of complaining about snow this year. and we did have a lot. but we have had a couple of GLORIOUS spring like days so far, and that goes a long way to getting over the yucky weather. this winter, i actually did not have any mishaps on ice, which was really nice for a change, and i can honestly say that is one for the record books... i usually slip and fall at least once, every winter!

so, now i am just loving some fresh air and daylight savings time. we'll see what's next really soon. i think a remodel on the bathroom may be in store....

in the course of the past week

i have commented to myself that i "need to blog" about that. of course, i can't remember any of it when i actually get home from work and try to sit at the 'puter. and then i think, oh, maybe i shouldn't because it would be inappropriate considering where i work - i work for the federal government, and there are social networking restrictions in place. and, normally i understand that and it's fine. i mean, one does want to be careful about what one writes about her job, her co-workers, sometimes even one's spouse. but there is a real temptation to "let it all hang out" on a blog just because one can.
i love my new job. recently a position opened up in our office, and i applied for it, and got it. and i am so thrilled that i did. it isn't a promotion, just a lateral move, but i don't care. it's interesting, and different and satisfies my curiousity.

at any rate, i think, the next time i have a flash to blog about something... i'll write it down for WHAT'S NEXT........

mid winter meanderings

well. i looked forward all snowy week to friday and sleep. it is now almost one a.m. and i WAS asleep. asleep before 9 i might add. woke up to go to the bathroom, and now... awake. lovely. LOVELY. i'll end up headachy, and cranky probably. and i have a lot to do tomorrow. mountains of laundry to fold, and floors to wash; after all it is the end of january and there are MOUNTAINS of snow every where and sand and salt that make its way into my house. yuck. the refridgerator is acting up and sears messed up the appointment yesterday and now won't be here till thursday. the snowblower has been on the blink since last year and that's being picked up tomorrow. and, neither are old- fridge is 1 1/2, snowblower is 2...
on the other hand, i am still loving my new job- i am so fortunate for that. my kids are all healthy-grateful for that. have a roof over my head, cute puppies to love, a husband to be irritated with... or is it "at"? i reconnected with 2 friends on facebook. so wonderful!!! i am so happy and appreciative of all the friends and family that have found me, and that i have found also. what an age we live in...
i think i'll go make a cup of cocoa, and open up the ereader, maybe fall back to sleep sooner, rather than later. i might be back tomorrow - i've had lots on my mind, and not that i think it's all earth shattering, my confidante and counselor is taking a break from work and i may just use this to get stuff out of my system.... we'll what's next... tomorrow.

Merry Christmas- I'm Christian, so that's what I say...

well...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
a week to go, and i am not even ready. oh, there are presents purchased. i even had a nightmare last night about wrapping them and not putting any names on... not that there are that many that it would be a problem, but still....

this season, i am praying for homeless folks, folks without jobs, kids going into the service of their country, and so many who are ill, it makes me want to cry.

but for today, while michael and meghan run around like maniacs getting ready for a football game, i will be hauling up Christmas stuff. hopefully the tree will be up and at least have the lights on when they get home.

and for now, i need to go sweep and wash some floors. ho ho ho. that's what's next for today.

wow, longer than i expected to be away

july 10th- that seems like a lifetime ago. it's been busy and hectic, and i have not been up for blogging. i mean, i sort of feel like i want to talk about everything, and then some days, nothing.

there have been births, deaths, accidents, surgeries, heatwaves, the first of the "fall" colors showing, and time just marching on.

sometimes, things from a the past, not ever really forgotten, have a way of raising you up, and sometimes, smacking you down, when you least expect it. sometimes these things can be wonderful. long lost friends and family whom we are thrilled to be in contact with. other times, just jerks who poison the very air we all breathe. and yet, in spite of these jerks, it is necessary to move on, or keep moving. thank goodness i have an active sub conscious. i am not very imaginative, but my dreams give me a run for my money. it's a wonderful thing that, in my dreams i can molotov cocktail someone's house and have just as much satisfaction as if i really did it. or tell someone to go to hell, and then dream of them being there. yes, that works for me.

anyway, it's sunday evening, almost time to fire up the grill for supper... and for now, that's what's next,